on our way home...

for finn's first christmas. i don't think it's hit me yet. i have a child. i have a family & we are about to experience our first christmas together. cRazY!

when did i turn into a freaken grown-up?

kay, now that i've realized that i'm going to complain about it, please forgive me.

i seem to have been thrusted into this world of responsibility, it's at times overwhelming.
it at times even makes me resentful. bryan is wonderful... truly he is. that babe is with him from almost the second he walks in the door until i nurse him to sleep. he helps with dishes, the laundry, the trash... all of it. if i've been lazy & haven't washed out the cloth diapers he even does that for me too. but, there are so many things he doesn't even think about & that nags at me. why is it that mothers carry the burden of most of the chores? this post has been rolling around in my brain for about a week now. i've longed to get out by myself, for shopping or a movie... just something & when i can't because i have the luxury of being a stay at home mom, basically & my babe is attached to me almost 24/7 which I LOVE... don't get me wrong, but damn it to hell i wanna be just me every once in awhile, ya know? i want a break which doesn't include shooting a portrait session or a shift at rei.

this post was even more dramatic in my mind until i read a post on a blog that i frequent. i adore her. nici holt cline. she is such a strong, beautiful woman & she has spent nearly the first two weeks of her brand new daughter's life in the hospital while she battles & kicks the ass of the strep pneumonia that has settled in her little lungs.

reading her updates just about stopped me in my tracks.

hell yeah i'll change that poopy, nasty diaper. you need me to tickle your little neck again, no problem. you wanna fuss when i need to finish burning some cd's for clients- okay i'll take a break. you need me to swap out your 3-6 month clothes because they're strangling you, i can do that right now. i'll do anything you need me to sweet little boy and i'm happy to do it.

this christmas season- i need to not stress about making sure the grandparents get plenty of finn time or that we remembered presents for everyone, or filling up the calender with everyone we want to see... i need to not stress. what i need to do is relish in the fact that we are fortunate enough to go home & spend this special, special time with our family. that we are fortunate enough to buy presents for our loved ones. to have food, excessive amounts of food on our plates. the luxury to buy rolls of wrapping paper (we don't but...) for $5 dollars to wrap our $30 present to be thrown away. not everyone is that fortunate. not everyone is that lucky. i need to remember that & those less fortunate.

i wish you all a wonderful holiday & a happy new year. forget the stress & remember how lucky you are!

6 months old today.

how is it possible? really? i've been a momma for 6 whole months.

i've been reliving the happenings of 6 months ago all day long.

pretty crazy... how much our lives have changed. we are soooo very lucky & know it.

bryan came home from work today with a card for both of us. how sweet is he? the card said "thanks for making me a happy camper!"

there might not be a better way to sum up how we both feel since this sweet little child entered our lives.

at 6 months:
-he's rolling like a mad man, all over the place.
-he's able to sit up for quite awhile before plummeting to the ground.
-he's a chatty cathy. that sometimes turns into an incredibly high pitched squeal. bryan reminds
him to use his inside voice. ha.

-weighs 19lbs 1 oz
-is 27 inches tall
-when he's hungry he can now throw himself at my chest. it's pretty entertaining.
-enjoys being in his highchair (bday present that we got him today!)
-has the stinkiest & loudest toots. poor guy... he didn't have much of a chance with us as parents.
-sortof crawls/schoochs, but backwards.
-is very determined to get the toy in front of him & shove it in his mouth.
-loves his christmas present from aunt snefani- bug jug from melissa & doug. (awesome company by the way!)

-also loves his ugly doll from marsha o'dea.
-& the teething rings from heather & kristen
-still loves baths (just got him a big boy bathtub today too!)
-can get up on his knees as if he is going to crawl but instead humps the air. it's hilarious.
-as soon as you take the diaper off him - his hands are down there within seconds, playing with
his manhood in all it's glory, while he giggles.
-he has the best laugh. hands down. it's awesome.
-is very ticklish... stomach, feet, thighs & neck.
-if he starts to get cranky (which is rare, but not so rare the last week since he's been teething!)
it's very easy to help him forget why he's cranky.
-he does this ridiculous thing a lot. what is it called -a crunch? legs & head up. he can hold it for over 15 seconds. whoops my ass everytime. i think he's training for circus de solel. they were on ellen the other day & i let him watch it & he was fascinated.


-he can sit beside me with a pile of his toys & entertain himself for a half an hour sometimes.


-loves the piano & mandolin. bryan will play our mandolin for him (the one song he knows, but still that's better than me i forgot the damn cords already) & i play a few cd's with piano only & he'll smile the whole time.
-also loves dancing. i have a rule that when lullaby from dixie chicks comes on- we dance. i put it in the rotation quite a bit :) sneaky sneaky.
-can give you the most heart melting hug possible.
-is an amazing kisser. if he doesn't get those lips he wants your chin!

i knew i'd love being a mother & bryan knew he'd love being a father. but finn, we had no idea it would be this much fun.

happy birthday little boy. we love you.