new york, the third time.

09 was an amazing year as far as visiting new york went! we got to go three times! this final trip was early october for a friend of mine, chris's, wedding. he married the beautiful jessica on a fabulous fall day...

steph met us at the airport with the rental car & we drove up to the bay. before leaving we stopped at the panera bread for a late night dinner. the lady that checked us out last time loaded us up with free bagels, bread & cookies. so we thought we'd go back there. it was de ja vu. she was there, checked us out & gave us at least a dozen bagels, a loaf of cinnamon bread & a few cookies. so NICE!

steph & jeff's friends let us stay in their cabin. it was so cute! cold, since we couldn't figure out how to turn the heat on the first night- so we all wore layers & layers & huddled together for warmth!

then, the next morning we had the genius idea that maybe we needed to turn the breaker on. yep, problems are that simple to solve sometimes.

during our day of traveling i took some cute pictures of finn. i'm going to submit them to southwest & see if we can't get published :)
my toes are like puzzles...
hi mama. i'm wearing an appropriate bib.

our first day at the bay. we went for a short walk around the neighborhood. it was chillllllly.

the birch trees here at the bay were the inspiration behind finn's nursery.
then we headed into saratoga to meet up with jeff. he came up after work to spend the weekend with us. we had dinner with some friends from the bay.

jeff : mo : finn : zach (mo & cat have since had their beautiful baby girl!)
mama's favorite. well not the toffee. but the brand, for sure.

the next day was the wedding. on sunday jeff, mo & i went for a hike. my first real one in almost a year. i'm going to have to dedicate a post all to that hike... it was fabulous.

on the last day we met carolyn for breakfast at this cute lil diner.

finn munching on uncle jeff's thumb. he loves his uncle jeff. he's in his penn state shirt that barely fit! bryan was not a fan of that shirt.
isn't this a cute picture of my sis?
one of my favorite peops, carolyn.
i'm giving these two maybe 7 months once their married... no pressure. that's just my guess.

then we headed to the airport. we were early so we got some lunch & decided to have a picnic at the amish farm nearby. it's no longer in working order -the only thing still there really was a museum that was unfortunately closed.

finn was a sweet baby boy while we ate at the picnic table... he just laid on the ground laughing at the clouds.

i did a mini session for them...

& then jeff did one for us. it was pretty comical. he's never used my camera & he was holding finn. but he did a purty good job.
thanks jeff & steph for coming up to help me with finn!

we've unfortunately got nothing planned for 2010 at the bay... but i'm sure that will change.

world pasta day.

october 26th. i heard about this on npr & thought "we like pasta we should celebrate." so i sent an email out & several other people agreed! we headed to buca di pepo's & got the pope room! heck yeah.


the messy owen! mmm. sgetti.
the aspinall's.

the boddie's.
this is rob & tina. rob is bryan's "boyfriend" in the frisbee world. at least that's what tina & i call him. bryan says it's a healthy man crush.
where'd all the spaghetti go?
that pope is freaking me out, man.
yeah for pasta lovers around the world!
well, some of us decided the fun night should not end -just yet. we walked over to the infamous sugar bowl ice cream parlor which has been around since 1958!

nathan's eyes were huge!
isabelle... ice cream.

finn tried some of daddies ice cream & made a groddie face, but he kept coming back for more.
thanks guys! we had a great night.

we haven't posted a video in forever....

so here's one! aunt stephi came to visit a week ago... & she's funny.

9.22.09 forever ago.

my mom and finn are napping together right now, so i thought i'd take a chance to catch up on some blog posts!

this one is from back in sept. i took these on the 22nd. it's amazing to me how much finn has changed in 6 months. here, he's clearly a baby. now, he's a kid. i swear it, he looks like a kid! when that happened slyly under my nose i don't know, but it did.

enjoy this cutie!

after a bath:

love that smirk.

i toucha my toesies.
finn & dada.

i bought this amazing wind chime in a cute store, made, in downtown phx. it's a little cluster branch with lava rocks. the sound is so soothing. i've had it for quite awhile in my office because i liked it so much, but when finn was born we hung it from his fan. now, whenever he's fussy during a diaper change or we just want to see him smile, we chime it. he LOVES it.

sorry so sweet & simple. but sometimes thats what life is. :)

crap.

i already messed up the promise to post every tuesday. sorry about that. i keep thinking life will get back to normal next week. but maybe this crazy is my normal?

finn & i flew home last week for al's funeral. it was incredibly sad. i'm so very grateful that i was able to go. i have closure now- when i think of al i'm no longer sad or even mad, but relieved. he's better. he's no longer hurting. i'm also incredibly grateful for sarah having driven all over the south to go to both funerals. she'd already planned to go to the tn one & then drove another 5 hours so we could go to the ky one together. you're an amazing best friend.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

so, we just got back from church. got our ashes on. even finn. it's pretty stinken cute & that's something i've never thought of before when it comes to this practice.

tonight was nice. i was at peace.

my religion & my faith have been battling it out my entire adult life, so moments like earlier are pretty rare. i truly enjoy going to our church, the newman center, which was run, until recently, by the dominican order. the choir is heavenly. father thompson is genuinely a NICE guy. father fred, who unfortunately was basically asked to leave by our arch bishop, was amazing. he made us love being catholic. he started a support group for the college kids that were homosexuals- which is one of my biggest beefs with the church.

i'm sure many of you have wondered if we're ever going to baptize finn & we wholeheartedly plan on it, but we're wanting to figure out if we're sticking with catholicism or converting to episcopalian or something entirely different.

i don't think i can (or want to) remain a catholic while picking & choosing what i agree with. i mean, my issues are... rather large ones... you see.

:i am pro-choice. i would never want to make that decision for another woman. NEVER. ever. it ain't right. i don't really agree with abortion- but what my neighbor thinks is right for her is her CHOICE.

:i think a person should marry whoever in the hell they want to. be it man or woman. if you're lucky enough to find someone that you like enough to get over the stuff you don't like, sheesh, why get in their way?!

:i know some amazing women. and they would be kickass priestesses. catholicisim and their archaic beliefs buck major heads with my feminism.

other than that -i love being a catholic. well, the whole guilt thing is obnoxious...

but i do believe:

:in being kind to your neighbors.

:loving/helping the unlovable, whether it be the poor, mentally ill or a republican ;)
(kinda just kidding.)

:in god.

:in forgiving.

:in life after death.

:that the purpose of our lives is to be happy & good & hopefully find love along the way.

so back to my point, at church tonight, everyone was singing, i had the sleeping finn in the sling, bryan's arm around me & my eyes closed. it was nice. everything washed away. i was thrown back to my highschool self where i believed 100% in catholicism. i miss that. i'm not really enjoying this limbo world i'm in. but i don't really like this world of extreme religiousness either. my friend, al, was dealing with just this issue -but on a much deeper, more painful level.
somehow- i know. hope. wish. --- insert verb here----- it didn't have to be such a difficult issue.

why does there have to be one religion? that's right? & everyone else is wrong? why do the different religions have to dislike or even hate the others? muslims... are nice people, but even my cousin said she was afraid of them. that statement is like saying you're afraid of catholic priests. the actions of a few ruining it for the rest. why can't they have their beliefs & we have ours & somehow we manage to co-exist. i <3 that bumper sticker. ruth, do you still have it on your car? it's a beautiful idea & i'll keep holding onto it.

for this sweet little boy's sake.


*matilda. finn wanted me to tell you that he is so GLAD you're okay.

why must life

have it's ups & downs...

yesterday morning, the three of us woke up bright & early at 6 am & we laid in bed until 8. i wanted to freeze the memory in my mind forever. i resisted getting up to get the camera- because i didn't want to spoil it. finn was taking turns snuggling with us, giving us kisses & jabbering away. it was beautiful. how i wish we could spend every morning before the stresses of life reveal themselves.

then, my best friend sarah sent me a text. are you awake?

i instantly knew something was up- so i called her back.

our friend, al, had killed himself.

a kazillion periods could not demonstrate how confused i was. i sat there... trying to figure out what she'd just said. reeeeeeally? we just talked... umm... shit when did we last talk. he was just commenting about a picture of finn on facebook. wow, it's been a couple months.

the deep aching sadness starts to settle in. how could he?

sarah went to highschool with him. they both went to western & hung out with a bunch of us louisville kids.

al was the quiet guy. the incredibly good looking, kind, thoughtful, deep, mysterious guy. he was troubled... but i thought it was because he was too smart. thought about things too much. always in his head. but, he was also the guy that spit out his soda when laughing. that is the lil video clip that keeps running through my mind. i can see him sitting there, someone telling a story & all of a sudden my loud cackle is overrun by al's refreshment exploding over anyone in the near vicinity. he'd be a tad embarrassed & then start laughing again.


god he was beautiful. you just wanted to be around him. one of our friends meredith took this picture & it is him. to the t. innocent & sweet.


al & asa helped me out with a photo project :)

since yesterday at 8 am i've thought of him off and on. i start to tear up & then finn needs me or i need to leave for a portrait session & be professional because it's an extremely happy day for them. their sweet daughter is turning 1. happy birthday emma!

so on to the ups & downs. i'm getting ready to leave for this portrait session & bryan is outside doing yard work. i set finn up in his high chair outside so he can watch his dad finish up. i leave. the portrait session went really well. emma was precious & i think everyone had a great time. i'm driving back, rushing because my shift at rei is starting in like 20 minutes. bryan doesn't answer his phone.

i get home & call out for the boys. no answer. i walk around, maybe he's napping. not in the living room, his room or our room. oh there they are. sweetly in the hammock. so i unlock the back door & go out to take a picture of them because it's precious. bryan gives me this half evil grin & BAM it hits me. oh shit. i locked the door -didn't i?

i start laughing hysterically. i've gotten into this habit since the robbery to lock the door behind myself every single time. which i apparently did after i put finn outside. so. for 2 hours the boys were stuck to fend for themselves. thank god finn didn't get hungry or cranky, bryan very well may have left me! thank god finn wasn't napping when i left... him inside with bryan locked out! god. can you imagine. bryan said that wouldn't have been a big deal, he would have broken a window- but he was starving!!!!!!!!!

life. ridiculous.

i work my shift & then the stars aligned & things get rearranged & i can leave to go to the party. which was a lot of fun! crazy trying to entertain 10 one year olds, but fun!

on the way home i talk with al's ex-girlfriend, meredith. and i'm back down again.

i got to know al's family from when they'd come visit him at school & because i shot his sister's wedding. i can't get them out of my mind. they held al as a baby- with his entire future in front of him just like i hold finn. i can't fathom that.

i'm leaving tuesday morning for the funeral. i need this time to be with friends & hear their stories of him. i need this time to cry without distractions.

maybe those two hours outside were great practice for 2 days without mom! i'm sure they'll have a great time... but maybe call to check in on them for me? thanks.

please take a moment to tell the ones you love that ya love em.

*change of plans. i'll be heading to louisville & attending the second funeral in mundfordville. finn will go to ky but stay with the grandparents.

you can still call to check in on bryan, he gets lonely without us!

catch-up

let me take a moment to catch you up with our lives...

finn has:
finally gotten over his cold that he's managed to hold onto for 2 months. we just went to the doctor's today & she says he's looking great.
(had to do breathing treatments three times a day for two weeks... not fun with a squirmy little baby!)
he's also gotten over his ear infections- one in each ear.
(he didn't mind his pink medicine for that.)
he has two bottom teeth :)
is 8 days shy of 8 months old.
is crawling!!!!!!!!
can pull himself up & walk around things, coffee table, exersaucer, etc.
can say da da... but not necessarily directed at dada.
is eating solids at least once a day. so far he LOVES winter squash & carrots. green beans & potatoes not so much.
i've been giving him big slices of mango to suck on & he gets royally pissed off when i take it away from him. loves his mango maybe more than his mama.
is still our lovable sweet baby boy.

now. i apologize for my lack of posts. we're sleeping more & less cranky -so i hope to be more on top of that.

i would like to make a promise to the blog world that either bryan or myself will post every tuesday night(or by tuesday). it'll probably be me, since bryan's blogged what twice now, maybe?

at this very moment finn is crying in his crib. i have rocked him to sleep twice now. skye keeps barking right at the perfect moment. finn has just gone limp- no longer scratching my chest or humming & BAAMMM! or BARK! shall i say.

damn dog. we are having a major soul searching, heart breaking, on-going conversation about looking for another home for her. someone that will give her as much exercise as she needs/deserves. someone that can handle a dog with a slight case of separation anxiety. that isn't a stay-at-home mom & somehow manages or attempts to keep up with her full-time job.

i feel like a horrible person. i'm the one that caused the huge fight in the beginning because i wanted her. she's a great dog- she makes us laugh & more importantly finn loves her. she walks into the room & he starts giggling. she scratches herself he starts giggling. she gets up in his face to smell or lick & he giggles.

but. big BUT. i'm going a little crazy. if i put her outside so finn can play on the ground without the fear of them climbing all over him she'll scratch at the door literally, non-stop until we let her in. it could be twenty minutes or 4 hours. scratch. scratch. scratch. it's worse than nails on a chalk board!

i realize i'm not making a strong case for anyone to want her. but if you run daily or at least often, like hiking or any other activity that she could come with- she'd be amazing! she's sweet & playful & hilarious, but we just don't run her hard enough & she doesn't take advantage of our backyard.

so. i think i'll be a much calmer & happier mother, friend & lover if we found her a new home. but then we're quitters. bryan says it's up to me. i've now put the ball in his court on how to solve this problem without giving her up. we've already tried hiring a trainer... anyone know how to get ahold of cesar?

dilemma. what would you do?

so, back to the reason you all check this thing... finn!

here's some recent pictures of him. i'll post ALLLLLL the things i've neglected soon.

his hair is by far one of my most favorite features. it's a vibrant orange! and it's filling in so it's the first thing anyone notices.

i'm sitting up like a big boy. see?

his smile & eyes are tied for second.

a couple weeks ago we had a little fashion shoot. i wanted to take some pictures of some of my favorite outfits before he grew out of them.

hannah & tom bought this jacket for him on their trip to south america... can't remember which country though!

singing.

i love it when he bites his bottom lip.

one of my brides, rachel, got this little gem! tehee.

and nana got him this hat.

push-ups. "what, i do these all the time. no big deal."


i loooooooove this coat. ADORABLE!


i watched our little friend, emma, last week & we went for a long walk. emma fell asleep, but notice her hand... stoli, this is solid proof that your daughter is a cougar! and finn is loving it.

life here is good as you can see. we're busy & having fun. how's life with you? we love comments!